Sept 16-- Conflict: You have no idea (you never will)

  Conflict, conflict, conflict, to me it seems such a simply word to describe the cause of wars, genocide, extreme poverty. Yet it has been a solution, a catalyst for solving centuries-old suppression, discrimination and prosecution. Without conflict between people of the caste systems in India, Gandhi never would have invented one of the most successful nonviolent strategies, Satiagraha. Susan B Anthony and Alice Paul never would have won great concessions for the suffrage movement without conflict towards the patriarchal notion of women roles in society.  So what is conflict really? An instance of incompatible goals creating contention between two or more parties. Or an instance of stimulation to our cognitive realities, a challenge of ideals that produce an opportunity to improve and expand our preconceived notions of who we are. I believe that conflict is simply an indication that a change in that particular area of dissidence, is eminent and necessary.

This class means to me a place where our ideas of gender will go through necessary change. We each have our experiences, our passionate moments where we felt that rearing identity of being a man or a women or both or neither. These very moment define us, they steer the way for how we think about our sex.
I remember in middle school, after summer break on the first day of school, gym class became a year long torture. Everyday my more developed body would have one comment or another tossed around about it. Being one of two black girls in my class, my sexuality was already guessed by my classmates through their view of a black girl. I was a slut before age 13. They would make jokes and say I had five guys already and an abortion. Crazy stuff, ridiculous things they said but still painful. I felt that puberty had betrayed me, I was branded a loose girl by my figure. But I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I grew strong in my mind. I learned how to soften the blows, roll with the punches. The ironic thing was I kept using the mantra, "Just act like a guy, don't give  a shit" and lone behold, there I was, iceman. No one knew how I felt, no one knew how sensitive I really was. I have gained from this experience tremendously but I keep thinking about the experiences I lost by being so closed up. Conflict teaches us new ways of behavior, resolving things. The key thing to remember is that what you learn is ever-changing. One day you might have a conflict that might reveal a significant part of you. Two weeks later a conflict may flipped your newly found notion again.
The point I guess I am trying to make is that we gain more from being open to conflict and change than being rooted and guarded against it. Yet conflict has always had a bad connotation so we are more aped to despise conflict, to avoid it at all costs, and likewise avoid change.